When I got back from VA, I found they'd tightened the web security at work (again!) and I was no longer able to access silveriafamily.com. This bummed me severly as I had incorporated cruising the site as part of my morning routine - drink some coffee, read some posts, try to psych myself up for the day, etc. As a result, I have not been to the site much in the past two weeks nor have I made many entries. Let me take this oppotunity of alone time (Kyrielle is watching Harry Potter (again!) and Larry is playing a geek game with his geek friends) to comment on some recent posts and generally ramble on.
Brie's comment to my comment that Jennifer Garner is mannish - I'm sorry but she reminds me of a man - a skinny fish faced man. I have no real basis for this perception but that's all I think of when I look at her.
Cait's post that no one really cares about what CD she's obessed with or the cool new place she likes to hang - I would like to hear about it. Tulsa radio sucks (no suprise there) and I don't really have time to search the Internet for new music. If you know of a cool new band that you dig...let me know. And as you seem to be the only person in our little blogging group who gets out at night, I would love to hear how much fun you had. *sigh*....those were the days.
My Work Situation - My CFO told me on Friday she definetly wants me to come back as a contractor - at least for the next few months. I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, I'm thankful for the security of a paycheck as I really don't know how long it will take me to make money as a personal chef. It also helps that my hours will be part time and I will get to set my own schedule. I also like the fact that I will be going back to an hourly wage. Salary really sucks when you're working 60 hours a week and no one even says thank you, mush less pays you any extra. It also made me feel good to hear my CFO say she can't manage the department without me. She was really disappointed I was leaving. And all this time I thought they hated me. Now for the flip side...I still have to work with the same irritating yahoos, I still have to deal with a billing system that doesn't work worth a crap, I still have to report to the world's biggest freaking blowhard idiot (the acctg supervisor, not my CFO)....and deal with all the same crap I bitched about a few days ago. But like I said, its only part time...25 hours a week at the most....I think I can handle that.
My Other Work Situation - Since I've decided to quit, I've got two clients in two weeks after going about 5 months with no interest whatsoever. I have my first official cook day in a client's home tomorrow (yay!) It's not a full service (14 meals compared to the standard 20) and I don't think this will be a repeat customer (its for an eldery lady whose recovering from surgery) but it at least gives me experience. My other clients are a couple who own a bed and breakfast here in town. I did a dinner service for her a couple of weeks ago and now she wants to try a two week service. If she likes what she gets I have a feeling she will be a repeat customer. I'm most excited about this. She knows a lot of people in town (people with money) and will probably recommend me if she likes me.
Other Stuff No One Really Cares About But Me:
1.) Our chickens finally started laying eggs. Some are white and some are brown. They all look really pretty in the bowl in my fridge...ooh! I feel so Martha Stewart!!
2.) Why hasn't John posted anything in two weeks? I realize he just hates dial up (we have to deal with it too) but come on....we miss you.
3.) That's it...I just went blank on what I wanted to see....probably because my wine glass is empty. I must refresh it. Talk to you all later.
1. What was the last TV show you watched?
I remember watching the end of Family Guy on Adult Swim last night so that must be it. Oh wait….I watched part of Good Morning America this morning.
2. What was the last thing you complained about and what was the problem?
Who knows…I bitch about everything (see most recent blog). I think I complained to Larry about taking out the garbage.
3. Who was the last person you complimented and what did you say?
Larry….I told him he was cute.
4. What was the last thing you threw away?
My plate from breakfast here at work.
5. What was the last website (besides this one) that you visited?
Thestockpots.com to look at their cooking classes schedule.
Ok…since I’ve made up my mind to quit I’m finding it increasingly difficult to tolerate the crap that goes on around here. I’m sure it’s the normal workplace crap you’d find in any office but since I’m leaving this all behind very soon I feel like being a big whiny baby about it. Here are a few examples of my new and improved crappy attitude:
Crappy Attitude #1 – Working Late (or refusing to)
Over the past nine months or so I’ve noticed a trend here where certain individuals (namely us salaried ones) are increasingly expected to work over forty hours a week. This wouldn’t be so bad if the hours were scheduled or I was at least asked if I could stay late. Instead, certain members of management think it is completely acceptable to dump assignments on my desk at 4:15 and expect my to stay until they are finished, no matter how long that may take. Well I’m sorry but I have a life outside of work and that life takes priority over my job. I’ve noticed that the offending dumpers are mainly single older women who have no one to go home to. I’m sorry if your life is empty and meaningless…mine isn’t…let me live it.
Crappy Attitude #2 – The Neverending Story (or how no one can make a decision)
How many times do we have to discuss the same issue until everyone finally understands what the hell we’re doing? I can’t tell you how many meetings I been to in the past two weeks over the same issue. Can’t someone just make a freakin’ decision?? I now doodle on my notepad and stare blankly into space at these meetings. I’ve lost all capacity to give a shit. And the scary part is no one even notices my total apathy because they all feel the same.
Crappy Attitude #3 – Why Can’t Everyone Just Leave Me Alone
My friend Tracy pointed out to me that my problem with work is that I just don’t like anybody I work with (except for her). That’s not true – I like lots of people here at work – they’re just in different departments and I don’t have to, well, work with them. My old manager used to say MSL must be located on some bizarre astral plane because he’d never seen a larger concentration of insanely neurotic people in his whole life. I don’t care what filing system you decide to use for your paper documents, you don’t need to spend fifteen minutes explaining it to me and then ask me what I would I do. They’re your papers…I don’t give a shit. And don’t you dare tell me how I should organize my work. Just because I’m not an anally repressive Type A freak who can’t tie their shoes without a company approved diagram doesn’t mean I can’t manage my workflow. Not everyone needs a to-do list and further, not everyone needs to share their to-do list with the whole department. Go back to your cube and shut up…for the love of God.
I’m sure I have other completely cynical, destructive and unprofessional attitudes about work in general but I just wanted to highlight the highlights (how’s that for memo speak?). As ironic as this may seem there is a good chance I may be coming back on a part time contractual basis to help with some upcoming deadlines and the Peoplesoft conversion. I really don’t think I will mind it so much because I will be able to focus on just one project at a time and I’ll be able to set my own schedule. If someone starts to annoy the bejesus out of me, I’ll just leave early. We’ll see how it goes.
1.File taxes as early as possible, or wait until the last possible minute?
This depends on the outcome: refund or payment. The last couple of years we’ve had to pay so the returns been mailed on 4/15.
2.File electronically, or mail paper forms?
I’ve done electronic in the past but this year we went the paper route.
3.Prepare your own taxes, or have someone do it for you?
I’ve always done them myself (wanted to utilize those college accounting classes) but next year I’m definitely outsourcing.
4.Are you a saver or a spender?
Currently we’re spenders but given my soon to be unemployed status, I’m sure savings will become much more important.
5.Do you prefer to carry cash, or pay with plastic (credit/debit cards), or by check?
I use the debit card because it is convenient but I actually find it easier to stick to a budget if I use cash. When its gone, I stop spending.
6.You're broke and desperately need a job, but the only places that are hiring are retail or fast food places. Which would you pick?
Barnes and Noble baby!
7.Keeping track of your money: are you more meticulous or careless about it?
I try to be meticulous but I prefer ignorance to reality.
8.What do you do if you find yourself with a lot of change weighing down your purse/pocket/wallet? Do you try to spend it to *get rid of it*, or do you put it in a jar or a piggy bank?
If we’re planning a trip to Vegas then I save it. Otherwise I spend it.
9.Which form of fake money do you like better...Monopoly money or those chocolate coins covered with gold foil?
I like the gold coins…fun to play with.
10.Thought-provoking question of the week: You find a wallet containing $5,000 in cash, as well as several credit cards and the owner's drivers' license. Your rent is due tomorrow and you're short $200. Do you take the money (some or all of it) and mail back the wallet anonymously...or do you return the wallet with all contents intact?
I lost my purse once with $100 dollars in it. It was returned to me a few weeks later with EVERYTHING still in it. I would absolutely do the same.
1.Sexier (female)...Pamela Anderson or Jennifer Garner?
Ewww….one is completely manmade and the other is completely mannish.
2.Sexier (male)...Ben Affleck or Matt Damon?
Again..ewww…I used to like Ben better because of his dark hair but now I like Matt better because he’s a better actor but I’m still not crazy about either.
3.The better piano player...Billy Joel or Elton John?
Elton.
4.Funnier...David Letterman or Craig Kilborn?
Please…Letterman.
5.The dumber cartoon cat...Stimpy (of *Ren & Stimpy*) or Tom (of *Tom & Jerry*)?
Stimpy….stupid and gross.
6.A better news anchor...Tom Brokaw or Dan Rather?
Dan Rather bothers the bejesus out of me (I don’t know why). I like Tom Brokaw except for the funny fold of skin above his lip…freaky. I’m really a Peter Jennings woman.
7.A better TV chef...Emeril Lagasse or Jacques Pepin?
Emeril…TV is all about entertainment and that man is funny, in a dopey sort of way. He also features recipes almost anyone can make themselves and enjoy. I’m sure Jacques is the better chef from a classical perspective but he has the personality of a turnip.
8.The trashier talk show host...Maury Povich or Jerry Springer?
I used to think Jerry and all the staged fights were the lowest of the low but which is worse: staged violence or staged empathy (Maury is the master). I don’t get a chance to watch these very often but the last three times I’ve stumbled across a Maury episode its revolved around paternity tests. Why should I care?
9.The worse fast food burger joint...McDonald's or Burger King?
McDonalds.
10.Thought-provoking question of the week: Only a handful of U.S. Presidents have been considered to be *great* Of the following two, which one do you consider to be greater...Franklin D. Roosevelt or Abraham Lincoln? Why?
Here is where I demonstrate my ignorance of American history and the subsequent lack of understanding that goes with it. FDR sustained this country through the Depression with the public works program (which put millions to work constructing roads, electrifying rural areas and building the Hoover Dam). He also saw this country through WWII. But then Lincoln freed the slaves and was a great speaker. What do I know?
Planes, Trains & Automobiles
Ok….I was going to write a long descriptive blog about my travels last week by air, rail and road but as I thought about it I came to the conclusion that there really wasn’t much to write about. Overall, everything was great and I had a great time. How’s that for a travelogue.
To Work or Not To Work
On my trip I did a lot of thinking about my future and envisioned the kind of life I would like to live. Everyday of my vacation I was in a good mood and had positive confident feelings about the future and my ability to succeed as a self employed person. Driving to work on Monday however I could literally feel that positive energy being sucked right out me. Replacing it was an overwhelming feeling of dread and listlessness. I’m not trying to be melodramatic but I really do feel as if this job is sucking the very life force right out of me. It is enervating at the least. Given this sudden and uncontrollable shift in psyche (I tried to fight it) and its detrimental affect on my whole outlook, I’ve decided to call it quits here and dive 100% into the scary and unpredictable world of self-employment. Do I have any clients? No. Do I have any prospects for clients? Not really. But I will have the time and energy to look for them. So wish me luck. I do want to say that Larry has been extremely understanding and supportive about this whole venture. He’s not thrilled that we’re cutting our household income in half (temporarily!) but he’s willing to take this risk with me. I don’t know how understanding he’ll be when I tell him we can no longer afford beer but hopefully it won’t come to that.
1. How many houses/apartments have you lived in throughout your life?
Three houses with my parents and four houses since I moved out.
2. Which was your favorite and why?
I like the house I live in now because of the land and I like my parents’ house because of the fond memories.
3. Do you find moving house more exciting or stressful? Why?
I’m excited up until moving day and then I get stressed out…too much stuff!
4. What's more important, location or price?
They’re both important. I wouldn’t want a “great deal” if the house was on
a busy highway and I wouldn’t overpay for a house in a “cool” neighborhood.
5. What features does your dream house have (pool, spa bath, big yard, etc.)?
Huge kitchen with a bar area where my friends could hang out while I
cook, a gorgeous backyard with a pool and hot tub, a huge master suite with a
sitting area and a whirlpool tub in the bathroom. And a geek room for Larry and
his geek stuff.
I’m taking my cue from Cait for today’s blog. This “this or that” stuff is too much fun. I did the questions for the past few weeks because I liked them so much. Good find Cait!
March 25, 2003
1. Poetry or prose?
I have to say prose but I do appreciate many genres of poetry
2. Funky modern art or the older, "classic" variety?
ummm….how ‘bout 19th century through the mid 20th century
3. Sculptures or paintings?
Paintings
4. Theatre: exuberant musical or serious drama?
Never seen an exuberant musical at the theatre.
5. Ballet or modern dance?
Modern dance
6. Movies: major studio or indie?
Major studio although there are many indie films I love
7. Authors: Shakespeare or Dr. Seuss?
Shakespeare
8. TV: PBS or A&E?
BBC America
9. Music: Beethoven or Beatles?
Beatles
10. Thought-provoking question of the week: You are a contributing member of your favorite art museum, and visit on a regular basis. They announce a new, temporary special exhibit by an artist surrounded by controversy...this person's work and/or political views offend you. Do you stop supporting the museum, or just stay away during the time the exhibit is there?
Just stay away. Future exhibits shouldn’t be jeopardized just because I personally find something distasteful. Art is subjective.
March 18, 2003
1. Cold frosty ski slopes or warm sandy beach?
Hmmm…. The beach but only if I’m served fruity drinks under a big umbrella by Paolo the Cabana Boy.
2. Chevy or Ford?
Neither – Chrysler/Dodge if it has to be domestic.
3. Mac or PC?
PC – I’ve never used a Mac.
4. Dial-up or high speed internet access?
High speed
5. Small *family-only* wedding or large 200+ guest wedding?
Small wedding where close friends count as family
6. Would you rather be the bridesmaid or the bride? (if you are a guy, substitute best man or groom)
At this point it would have to be a bridesmaid! Don’t want to be a bride again.
7. AC/DC or ABBA?
Mama Mia! ABBA.
8. Roses or daisies?
Daisies
9. Trashy romance novels or classic literature?
Classic literature
10. NEW! Thought-provoking question of the week...If you had to choose one...would you rather be blind or deaf? Why?
I’ve actually pondered this before. Even though listening to music is very important to me I would have to choose deaf. There are too many beautiful things in the world to see and I love the look on Larry’s face when he’s plotting something devious.
March 11. 2003
1. Married or Single?
Married
2. Knit or crochet?
Crochet
3. Homebody or world traveller?
Right now I’m a homebody but I’d rather be a world traveler
4. "Star Search" or "American Idol"?
American Idol
5. Dancing or karaoke?
Not that I’m any good at either but karaoke is more fun to watch
6. Elvis Presley or Elvis Costello?
Elvis Costello has made some wonderful music but its not his face tattooed on my
back..
7. Bus or train?
Train
8. Batman or Superman?
Brak
9. Chocolate or vanilla?
Vanilla.
10. Which came first…the chicken or the egg.
I’m going to have to get all Darwin and go with the egg.
Doh! I forgot this was the end of a quarter. All weekend I was thinking I had only a few pressing assignments at work this week and could spend the later part of it organizing some files (which desperately need it) before leaving early on Friday to catch my flight. Well, since it is quarter I have at least twice as much work to do as I’d originally thought. I really want to get some things organized because I know as soon as I am on that airplane some calamity is going to occur at work and they are desperately going to need the one file of mine that is a complete mess. It always happens. Being as I am not a Type A personality (like everyone else in the accounting department), I don’t find it necessary to stay late just to file. When I have time during my regular working hours I try to work it in. We have been so swamped lately that I just haven’t got around to it. Does that make me a bad employee? I really don’t give a shit. I mentioned before that I didn’t want to use this blog as a bitch space for how much I hate my job. I really don’t want you people to see me for the pathetic whiner that I am. Some days here are good…most are bad or at least neutral. I really don’t see how, in the grand scheme of the universe, it matters whether or not we book an additional $10,000 estimate to an expense that is already $900,000. To some people, however, this $10,000 is of monumental importance and requires 8 hours of work on my part to prove or disprove its materiality. This is in addition to the 3 hour meeting that will follow just to discuss what it all means. After 9/11 I told myself I wasn’t going to waste my life doing a meaningless job. What in the hell am I still doing here?
As promised in a previous blog, here are some mundane details about my daily life. Monday night for dinner I made Cheese Raviolis in a Pumpkin Cream Sauce, Asparagus with Hollandaise Sauce and Oven Roasted Tomatoes with Asiago Cheese. I was insulted at first when Larry wouldn’t eat the asparagus. I made the Hollandaise Sauce especially for him so he WOULD eat the asparagus. After some unsubstantiated accusations and pouting (all on my part), Larry explained to me that he has tried to eat asparagus many times in the past and just doesn’t like it. I got over myself and looked on the bright side – more yummy asparagus for me. Last night I was going to make Pork Sate with a Peanut Dipping Sauce but I got distracted by the taxes and didn’t get to it. We had popcorn and Girl Scout Cookies for dinner instead. Nutritious! Hopefully tonight will be different. I was going to make several different meals for Larry to eat while I’m gone but I don’t think that is going to happen. Looks like he’ll be living off of Healthy Choice meals and pizza…I’m sure he’ll survive.